Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Right or Left !!!!

So, I went over to the Brits blog and he’s talking about being directionally challenged when it comes to driving. I suffer from the same illness. I wonder if there’s a drug for it, if not they should invent one.
Before the Wife and I started dating I used to be able to get around everywhere without a problem. I’d look get or lookup directions and be where I needed to be, of course every now and then I’d have to double back on the road because I was going the wrong way,
no big deal.
Once we started to go out she made me realize how bad I was at this, or so she thinks.
Every turn I made was always questioned.
Why did you turn on Oak Park? You should have turned on Oketo? Oak Park does this curvy thing that takes you further east.
For years I’ve been turning on Oak Park because I believed it was the best way to get home. Sure I might save an extra 30 seconds of my life but what do they say about the road less traveled (what do they say? I can’t remember)
Soon it got kind of ridiculous, after a movie on the way home she would actually ask me “where are you going”
Uhhh, home.
Home? You should have made a left on River Road instead of taking North Ave. all the way to Harlem.
What?!! What the hell is the difference? Both ways get us home. One bock away from my house she would be telling me to turn right on Schubert (I live on Schubert Ave.) most times she doesn’t talk, she just points her thumb in the wanted direction, like a hitchhiker.
It got so bad that in order to avoid any further arguments I just let her do all the directing.
Anywhere we go I tell her to just tell me “Left, Right or Straight”
Sometimes she’ll say “turn south or north” I’ll be like, uhhh?
Just tell me left or right!
The other day we drove 40 miles to pick up a $3 stool she bought form someone on Craig’s list, we ended up getting lost and I got blamed for it. I’m turning where you tell me to turn so YOU got lost not me. My job is to drive, I’m like your steering wheel, if I get lost when driving alone would it be fair to blame Maxine?
Sometimes she wont say anything even though she knows we’re going the wrong way, when I ask her why she didn’t say anything she says “I knew we were going wrong but you get mad if I tell you”
Uuhhh? I wonder just how far she would let me go? The Canadian or Mexican boarder?
First time I brought her to work she couldn’t believe I was able to find the place. She was so proud of me it was insulting.
Did you leave 5 hrs before the interview?


Bee said...


Wives, who needs 'em!

Anonymous said...

Bite me.

Marie said...

I guess you could figured I was anonymous.

You get angry when I help with directions, and I get angry when I don't help with directions. Why don't you just move over and let me do the driving. There problem solved since I always know where I am going.

The last time we missed out turn, but we didn't get lost. I knew how to get home. We had to travel South and then go East.

The Wife

Marie said...

I meant You get angry when I help with directions and you get angry when I don't help with directions.

Jean Knee said...

the road less traveled has fewer pot holes...
I'm pretty sure that's it

Brian o Vretanos said...

I've had issues like that in the past "why don't you go that way?" - Answer: "Because that way I'll get lost." It doesn't matter if it's shorter if you end up doubling back several times...

Listen to your wife - let her drive. You're lucky, because you have what I said I wanted - A chauffeur who knows where she's going.

Bee said...

Dan! Did you vote yet??

Tracy said...

Why would you do all that driving for a three dollar stool? You probably spent ten times more in gas than the stool is worth! Not that it's any of my business. Just thought I'd point it out.
My hubby is the same way as your wife. One time he even told me that I wasn't sitting in the seat right. How is that even possible? And he's one of those guys who's busy looking around while his car is driving off the road. Ugh.

Dan said...

The Wife
Most of the time we go somewhere together we take Maxine so.....let stick to our current arrangement. Just kidding.

Jean Knee
I did hit a nasty pot hole once while going by a road less traveled by me.

I likethe way you think, you always put things in perspective.

Ok, I exagerated with the 3 dllr. stool. I drive with my two feet, right foot is for gas and left is for the brakes. Is that weird ?

Tracy said...

My husband would tell you that that's wrong.

Tracy said...

Oh and ELEVENTH!!!!

Bee said...

Dan, Muvico was on the news last night. Something about only chumps go there or something.

Bee said...

They said AMC had THE BEST NACHOS!! In your F A C E !!

Nancy27 said...

Big Tex hates to drive so I do all the driving. I really don't mind cause I hate how he drives anyway.

What I totally HATE is when he is constantly yelling out "Careful!” or “Watch out!” Like if he thinks that I am not going to stop before I get to that red light that’s still a freaking block away! Or like he thinks I don’t see that BIG @SS truck that is looking to merge, even though I have slowed down and I’m giving him more than enough space to merge.

Then there’s always the “You are going the wrong way”
Me: “Huh?? No I am not, I want to take golf, since it’s a straight shot home”
Him: “Less traffic, blah, blah, blah..”
Him: “No”

Anyway, husbands can be just as bad as wives...