Friday, April 25, 2008

Last Day

So today is my last day at the dog bone place, on the way here I was trying to come up with a list of things that I’m going to miss about this place and it was quite difficult so I decided to make a list of the things that I will not miss.

The smell, it smells like cow, dog and monkey ass all at once. During the summer some of the material starts to spoil and we have to put lime on it to get rid of the smell and to prevent it from spoiling.

My bosses wife, enough said! You all know exactly how I feel about her. Can you believe that just a month ago she told one of the workers that I was irresponsible because last year during the summer I came in about 5 minutes late. I had a few people starting at 4am in the morning to set things up for everyone else who were starting at 5am ( this is when we were really busy ) In 15 months that I worked here I never missed a single day, I came in to work with “man colds” and all. I was 5 min. late ONE time and I’m irresponsible!!!!!?????
I seem to remember when I was hired that my starting time was 6am so I was actually
1 hr 55 min early you fucken piece of shit bitch hoe !!!!!!!!
The bitches mother (her mom works here) also has a set of keys but that day she conveniently forgot her keys, what a bunch of crap. The old lady didn’t open the door just so she could tell her daughter that I was late, she wanted to make me look bad.

The drive, I currently drive 30 miles each way thru the very heart of downtown Chicago. My next job is only 8 miles from my house, I won’t even have to get on the highway.
I’m going to save a crap load on gas (petrol for all my British reader) Maxine’s got like 25,000 miles on her already.

The hours, I put in way too many hours. I had to work a few Saturday’s and even some Sunday’s.

The heat, the dog bones dry in ovens so I have to often go in the ovens to check how they’re coming out and if they’re dry. I think that’s part of the reason I’m losing my hair.
Sergio where the hell is my Mexican shampoo????????

I actually did come up with something I’ll miss, the “Chick Fights” about 80% of the workforce was female and we had a couple of chick fights, I love chick fights!

I’m kind of pissed off because Jessica Alba lost her title of Sexiest Woman Alive to Megan Fox, I guess once Jessica recovers from her Fetal Disease and loses those Fetus pounds she’ll be back on top. Megan Fox is definitely worthy of holding the title till then.


BEE said...


Bee's Dark Side said...

Dan, your comment about "Fetal Disease" just about made me spit my coffee!!

Bee's Dark Side said...

Try not to smile too big once your exiting, might give you away. :o)

Marie said...


Jean Knee said...

see, it's sad cuz I don't even know either of those hawt women, therefore don't get the fetal joke

but I think before you leave the job you should wet down a buncha those dog bones and leave them all around the place in hard to find spots, and in bitche's car where she won't be able to find it easy.
After Polka Dot chews those things for awhile and they gett all soggy the smell is ewww

Dan said...

You must be buying the crap made in Mexico, like 2 months ago I gave Bee some bones to send you for Polka Dot, I'm guessing they are still stting on the kitchen floor.

Dan said...

Megan Fox is from The Transformers
Jessica Alba is from Dark Angel and Fantastic 4.

Dan said...

Feel free to use it anytime.

The ones over ME!!! I'm kidding of course, please don't make me sleep in the basement.

Brian o Vretanos said...

The end of an era. Well done for lasting through to the bitter end!

Esmeralda said...

I do hope you have brought with you a few months supply of doggie-treats for our furry best friends!!

I have the stuff.

Dan said...


I thought about it too late, I walked out empty handed.
Next time you guys go to my mom's leave the stuff there.
Thank M for me please.

Tracy said...

Enjoy your last day!
I didn't know you worked in a dog bone factory. All those mixed ass smells would make me vomit.
What are you going to be doing at the new job? Does it involve dog bones too?
Good luck, have fun, and don't kick anyone in the nuts!

Dan said...

Before the Dog Bones I worked 11 years at a leather tannery, they moved to Wisconsin. I could have joined them up there but I decided not to move.

The was another leather maker in Chicago that showed some interedt in me early on but never made me an offer...until last friday.
So I'll be back making leather wchich is what I have the most experiance doing.