Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Sponge Porn

So, somehow I was watching Sponge Bob Square pants today for the first time ever. I have no kids so I’ve never had to endure the torture. Although if I did have them I would never let them watch such garbage as Sponge Bob, my kids would be watching the good cartoons like South Park and Beavis and Butthead, now that’s some funny shit.

What caught my attention more then anything else was a character named Squidwad.
Squidwad looks like my inverted left testicle (my right one is far more attractive) they even draw him with wrinkles and give him the “sesame seed” look at the top of his head.
His nose and eyes look like…….well, judge for yourself, what do they remind you of?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Not Fair

So, can you fucken believe what I had waiting for me in the mail yesterday?
Yeah, after spending most of last week in court I now have to go and serve jury duty.
Isn’t that against the law? I think it’s called Double Jeopardy.
I hope they don’t select me because I’m putting someone’s ass in jail.
I don’t care how innocent they might me.
I don’t even want to hear the facts of the case, GUILTY !

Went to dinner with The Wife yesterday the receipt looked like this.

1 taco dinner 7.99
Carne Asada 11.99
1 Margarita 5.00
2 Coronas 10.00

Total 34.98

15 % Tip 5.24
20 % Tip 6.99

Total Amount _________

I’d like to thank the people at “Panchos Pistolas” for telling me how much I should tip, how nice of them to work out the math for me. I felt like Mr. Pink.

After that we went to a Sox game and left in the 5th inning, I got to get my sleep man.

Wow, I’m watching the news. They’re showing all those Texans running from the hurricane, I think I just saw Ronda humming away…in her H2.
I hope Jean’s cock is safe.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

System failure

So… I’m done with the whole murder trial thing. It was a real pain in the ass, the first two days went something like this.
Check in.
Sit in a room for 2 hours, with a bunch of cops and lawyers.
Move to another room, sit for two hours with a bunch of cops and lawyers.
Move to a room near the court room, sit for two hours with a bunch of cops and lawyers.
Stand in front of a judge who tells you that by law you have to come in again the next day then go home.

I had an inside view of how the legal system works or should I say doesn’t work.
You have a room full of cops and detectives complaining, saying stuff like.
“I hope this goes to trial today, it’s the fourth time I come in for this shit”
Minutes after that someone would come in and tell them their case has been pushed back another month.

How do we let these criminals and grease ball lawyers get away with this!
They find any excuse to postpone a trial, I heard stuff like:

“The defendant is sick and can not be prosecuted today”
“The defendant would like to start a motion to suppress evidence”
“The defendant would like to bring in a new witness”
Most of these guys posted bail and are walking the streets.

It’s only when they’re in jail that it goes to trial right away.

I could feel the frustration of the law enforcement people in the room.
Waste of time and tax money.

We need to revamp the system, have deadlines and not allow so many postponements. The case I was involved in was 4 years old.

After I was done with my testimony the family of the victim were all hugging and thanking me.