Saturday, August 30, 2008

I'm Back !!!!!!

So, I’ve let The People down. The People who with anticipation and excitement click on “The People’s Blogger’s Blog” to read about my adventures.
I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that I still don’t have my own computer or office space at my new job and of course like most of you I did most of my blogging at my companies expense.
I’m happy to report that office space and a PC are in my near future so all The People will be able to read about my adventures more often.

This kind of sucks because I’ve had plenty of hilarious to me stuff to post about.
None of which I have any memory of anymore, but I clearly remember thinking about a subject and laughing hysterically about it.
My last post was about my inability to find suitable tenants for my apartment building, well I’m happy to report that the two empty units have been rented out, the new tenants are moving in on Sunday. My last post also included an awful joke about the war in Iraq and a stupid fish, I’m sad to report that the war in Iraq is still going on.

I probably shouldn’t admit this but I like the way things turned out.
Got new tenants, war is still going on.
If it had been the other way around I’d probably be kind of pissed off right about now.
No tenants, war is over.
I’d be glad that the war is over but super pissed that I have no tenants.
At the moment I’m happy that I have new tenants but less pissed off that the war is still going on then I would be if I had no tenants.

I hope that made sense to someone other then me.

I’m looking forward to my super long weekend, I don’t go back to work until Thursday.
Monday’s a holiday and Tuesday and Wednesday I’ll be in court, I hope the court thing doesn’t take up my whole day.

I think I should let you all know that my internet has been down at home since Wednesday, not sure why. So if you wrote a post and I was unable to comment on it please forgive me. I know what big cry cry’s one of you can be.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


So, I’ll be having a couple of empty apartments Sep 1st. I’ve had a shit load of people call me and a few of them have made appointments to see them. Sometimes they don’t bother to show up and don’t even call to cancel.
I don’t live far from the building but it still pisses me off. I haven’t had much luck with the people that have come to see it. One lady asked me are you going to run a credit report? I have really bad credit and my fiancĂ© has no credit.

I’ve had a number of people trying to talk me into lowering the rent.
I’m not selling a car here people!
One couple asked if having a Doberman dog would be ok.
One lady wants to run a daycare from one of the apartments.
Why would I want a bunch of little pain in the ass kids banging on the kitchen cabinets?

I’m a little disappointed in the way this post is going, not funny at all so I think I’ll just tell you a joke.

A fisherman caught a little gold fish, the gold fish told the fisherman.

Please, please let me go! I don’t want to die! I’m just a little gold fish, to young to die, please let me go. If you do I’ll grant you a wish.

How about three wishes?

Do I look like a Jean Knee? I’m not the blue guy from Aladdin, I’m just a little gold fish.

The fisherman is thinking “Wow, I can really make a difference here. I have an opportunity to make the world a better place” I wish, I wish for the war in Iraq to be over.

But I’m just a little gold fish; I don’t even know where Iraq is! Can’t you wish for something smaller? Something for yourself?

Ok, then make my wife more attractive, my friends always make fun of me because my wife is really ugly. Here’s a picture of her.

The fish wipes his eyes a couple of times and says.
Where was Iraq again?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Dominican Dan

So, seems like I’m soon going to be put in charge of a Quality Assurance System at the job. I’ll have to set up quality checks at various points of production and I’ll have to take a trip to the Dominican Republic to see how the system works in a factory that has implemented the system.
I’ll fly out there on a Monday and fly back on a Friday, I don’t know much about the DR other then the fact that Sammy Sosa was born there. I hate Sammy Sosa.
I think The Wife has an old Sosa jersey, I think I should wear it so that I can blend in, maybe I’ll take my Cowboy hat. Hope they have good Ice Cream over there.

Starting tomorrow Cock fighting will be completely banned in all the US, Louisiana was the last state to allow it.

Am I the only one in the US hoping that Michael Phelps cramps up tonight and finishes last and drowns in the pool and that his mother then jumps in to try to save him and drowns too? I’m so sick of the coverage this guy is getting.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Who needs wisdom?

So, I have problems with my teeth!!!!
There’s a gap in between my Wisdom tooth and the tooth next to my wisdom tooth that is driving me FUCKING CAZY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every time I eat I get food suck in this gap and it’s impossible to get out. I try to floss but that only makes it worse because the floss pushes the food up and makes it harder to get. My gums bleed every time!
I’ll have a piece of burger stuck in there for a couple of days before it comes down on its own, when it does it makes my mouth smell like dog ass.
I try all day to get the food out; sometimes with my tongue so now my tongue is sore and has suffered little cuts from brushing up against my teeth.
Have any of you had your wisdom teeth pulled out?
Does it hurt?
I can’t live like this.
Will I become a dumbass if I have it removed?
I’ve been to the dentist litterly once in my life and it was a miserable experience. I decided one day to have my teeth cleaned; the dentist explained that they only do one half of your mouth during the first visit, the second half is done a week later. I had the first half done but I never went back to do the other half. It hurt so much! I must of had a crappy dentist. After all that pain I couldn’t even tell the difference between the two half’s. My dentist was Chinese, that day I lost all faith in anything Chinese. I stopped eating Chinese food and cat. I stopped practicing Kung Fu, I threw away all my Bruce Lee movies and my Kimono along with all my made in China clothes that didn’t fit.
I ‘m worried about these Olympics, one guy got killed already.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Spoiled Week

So, my new job place shuts down every year for a week to do full maintenance on all the machines. This year the shutdown will be the week of September 1st.
What am I doing that week you ask?
Well, I had originally planed to sit on my ass playing Grand Theft Auto all day since The Wife has to work that week, but now I get the pleasure of being in court.
See, I got this letter today that says:
Dan the Peoples Blogger on Sep 2nd and 3rd
To appear to testify before the honorable judge bla, bla, bla

I really don’t want to go, they should ask nicely not WE COMMAND, that just seems kind of asshoeie to me.
I’m going to borrow that tomorrow at work, I’m gonna be like
“I COMMAND you to ship this out today!”
I wonder what kind of a response I’ll get from the workforce when I start COMMANDING them around all over the place!
I COMMAND you to feed that machine faster!
Makes me feel like Moses for some reason, I need one of those big sticks.
I already have the beard and the crazy hair.
Do you guys think I can push this case down an extra week.
I’m going to call the Judge and be like “I COMMAND you to reschedule!