Monday, April 21, 2008


So the wife and I got Patrick over the weekend. Last Wednesday The Wife called and told me the KIA was shaking and that she didn’t think she would make it home. I told her to get off the highway and wait for me to get to her. I drove the Kia to the mechanic and somewhere in the middle of dinner we decided it was time to get Patrick.
I’m still pissed at the fact that Patrick and Maxine are going to have car sex but oh well, it was time.
I hate car sales people, we picked out the car she wanted but they didn’t have it in the color The Wife wanted so they had to bring one in from some storage location. The next day we went to pick it up, when they took us to see him we were surprised to see it was the wrong color !!!
So the manager is trying to get us to buy the wrong color car for a little discount.
“If I save you a little money would you become color blind?” he asked.
The Wife has been driving the same car for over ten years, she was having none of it. She knew exactly what she wanted. Unfortunately the color she wanted was no where to be found, no cars in that color were available in the entire Midwest. They finally found one that was being shipped to New Jersey, the manager had to make a deal with the New Jersey manager. The Chicago guy had to give up two trucks that were coming to him in order to get Patrick, it's funny how the manager acted like he was doing us a big favor.
I told The Wife he did what he had to do to make a sale.
They let us borrow the wrong color car until Patrick arrived.
We were calling the wrong color car “Fake Patrick”
I didn’t park fake Patrick in the garage because I don’t want Maxine to turn into a slut. Fake Patrick first then the real Patrick….I don’t think so.
Just in case you were wondering, no, I haven’t gotten a call from my new possible employer and at the end of the month I’ll be jobless.
No worries though, the new boss gave me his word and that’s good enough for me.
If he doesn’t call me this week then I’ll go into panic mode.
After getting the Kia fixed for a mere $450 dlls we sold her the next day,
Craig’s list is awesome.
I saw a girl get shit on by a flying bird over the weekend, that was pretty funny.


Marie said...


YEAH, Patrick is my dream car.

The Wife

Bee said...

Patrick was flirting with Andy's car (male) (not that there's anything wrong with that!) but Andy's car is all about the cachicks (car-chicks)

Was the girl who got bird shit on her, me? ;op

Brian o Vretanos said...

Car salesmen can be a pain. I love that car-salseman quote from "National Lampoon's Vacation":

"You think you hate it now? Wait until you drive it!"

Tracy said...

Congrats to the wife on the new car. My super mini van is going on almost nine years old. That doesn't sound too bad until you realize that that's nine years of three kids eating happy meals and ice cream and vomiting (not related to the ice cream and Happy meals)(ok maybe the happy meals) anyways, it's gross. I want a new one. The only reason I haven't gotten a new one is that I know it will look like the old one in no time.
Enjoy your new, child vomit free car!

Jean Knee said...

my mom got shat on by a bird that had been eating mulberries so the shat was purple. we were laughing when either the same bird ,or a different one, shat purple on her again. she went in after that.

new cars are kewl

Anonymous said...


If you had my car what would it's name be? I would not give it a female name, 8 cilinders demand a very masculine powerful name.


Bee's Dark Side said...