Sunday, March 30, 2008

My new job

So, I started my new job, happy to no longer have to deal with the bosses wife but at the same time a little sad. Did I fail? Sad because I did meet a lot of good people who I’ll most likely never see again. Oh well, life goes on.

Most of the work force at the new place received me well, however there’s a few guys who I know are going to give me a hard time, the who are you to be telling me what to do type. The I’ve been here for fifteen years and I’ll be dammed if some new guy is going to tell me how to do my job type. No big deal, I’ve dealt with these people before. I’ll just have to lay the smack down on their monkey asses, they better know their roll and shut their mouths! ( those of you who were wrestling fans in the late nineties will recognize those sayings ) I’ll call these people Jabronies.

One of the Jabronies had to surrender his office to me, this guy was not happy. I guess I understand but he’s pissed off at the wrong guy here, you got a problem with it go speak to the owner. I was surprised and happy when I saw my old boss their (the one who’s father died) he was also going to work for this company as a part time commission sales guy. Looks like plenty of Sox and Cubs tickets will be coming my way after all. My old boss sure built me up to my new boss “He’s worth every penny, he won’t let you down”
“He’s worth his weight in gold and has a nice ass”. Just kidding about the nice ass part, I just felt the need to mention that I have a nice ass….or so the wife tells me.

After a few days most everyone now considers me a part of the team and see the value that I bring to the company, along with my nice ass. All except for the Jobroni that lost his office, he has a couple of guys on his side. They think he’s getting screwed, how can they do this to him? He’s been here for twelve years! Why give his office to the new guy!
I’m not too worried about them because I know that as time goes by they will get to like me and admire my ass as well.
A couple of more days go by and their attitude has only gotten worse, I start to wonder if I’ll be able to win them over, maybe my ass isn’t that firm anymore, I should do some squats when I get home. Maybe they’ll hate me longer then I expected.
One day as I was walking thru the top floor (there are 5 floors) I get cornered by the 3 Jabronies, they threaten me and tell me I’m not wanted there. One of them starts to poor gasoline on the floor, the other lights a match and drops it. I’m locked inside, no way out!
All this over a stupid office, I start to look everywhere for an exit, I find a chair and break a window, most of the building is in flames now but somehow I manage to escape. The wife calls me “Are you ok?” News of the fire is all over the TV.
As I’m walking towards paramedics I see two of my former co-workers.
I should have never taken this job.

This is about the time my alarm went off. Is this a sign? What does it mean?
Does anyone think that dreams can help make real life decisions?
The wife said that it’s because I feel guilty about leaving my job.
My second interview is next week.


Marie said...


Marie said...

I do believe you like and respect your current boss and feel like you are letting him down. But you shouldn't, you've done a good job and have been a good employee. I just think it's time to move on you know before you kick her wife in the nuts.

The Wife

Marie said...

I meant his wife.


Stop looking at your ass!

Bee said...


Bee said...

Now you tell me it was all a dream??

Also, I think you're obsessed with your ass.

Bee said...

If you're worth your weight in gold, maybe you should gain more weight...

Avodrock said...

DANG IT!!!!!!!!! My mouth dropped wide open and I said to my DW... "I can not believe this!! How is it that I find out my brother has just started his new job by reading his blog??!!"

I agree with Marie, and all I have to say is, you need to look out for you and your family, forget about feeling guilty about leaving your current job.


Brian o Vretanos said...

I definitely think it's a sign. If you get this job be sure to take a fire extinguisher along with you...

I hope the interview goes well.

Tracy said...

Oh Dan, you must have a kind heart as well as a nice ass.(I'm just going by what you say about your ass, you know, as I haven't seen it and all) to be worried about letting your current boss down even though his nasty wife is the one chasing you, and a few others it sounds like, off.
I think you should go for the new job. It could be so much better than this one.

Anonymous said...

I would totally go for the new job but....

before I left, at my exit interview I would mention to the boss...

That his wife is going to drive his business down. Not only that but he should re-claim his man card and keep the bitch at home in the kitchen where she belongs!!

In the nicest way possible of course!!

Dan said...

Marie / The Wife
I agree, I'm taking the other job if they want me. Did I tell you I'll be making 20k less a year?
I know, I know, money doesn't matter, all that matters is that I'm happy. You are the bestest wife ever !

Yes you did. I'll get on a fat diet.

Reading by blog is probably the best way to be up to speed on things. Lets do a movie or game night or somthing soon.

Should I start doing squats now too?

I do have a kind heart that's one of my best qualities, along with being modest.

I did talk to him once about 6 months ago and basicly told him she was a bitch. He got kind of defensive and said something like "You have to be able to deal with adversety"
I going to deal with adversety by kicking her in the nuts !

Jean Knee said...

Don't be too hasty Dan. If you kick the broad in the nuts you may find out she actually has nuts and then you'll never be able tolook your boss in the eye again.

it could happen