So a couple of days ago the wife was doing some work around the house, dishes, cooking or something, you know the normal wife stuff. I could tell that she was upset over something but I have no idea what so I ask her.
Why are you upset?
She goes on a rant about cleaning and cooking and how a woman’s work is never done bla, bla, bla, while I get to sit around watching TV bla, bla, bla. She gets home tired from work too bla, bla, bla.
You see, me and the wife have had a pretty good deal since we first moved in together.
I do all the man stuff that needs to be done inside and outside the house. She never has to clean snow, take out the garbage, clean Nikki’s shit, mow the lawn, fix stuff around the house, build pergolas (yea, I just had to bring that up again !!! my blog would be nothing without my beautiful pergola) See, that is my responsibility, I wouldn’t want her doing any of these things. Lately it seems like she’s been trying to sneak new stuff in, I mop the floors every now and then and help her put away my clothes, shit the other day I even helped her match my socks. If I have to continue doing this I’m buying 20 new pair that are exactly the same and throwing away all the old ones. I even started bringing all the dishes to the sink because according to her if I see her doing dishes I should at least gather all the dirty ones around the house and bring them to her.
Since she seemed to be very upset and felt that her load was way bigger than mine I in my infinite retardation told her. If you want my help with something else just ask me, don’t assume I’m just going to put my shoes in the closed out if the kindness of my heart, in fact just put down in writing what you want me to help you with and I’ll do it. I should have known there was something fishy going on when she all of the sudden got over her bad mood.
Here is the list that was given to me last night.
1) Remove sheet and pillow cases from our bed and replace with clean ones.
2) Pick up all dirty laundry and take down to the basement.
3) Hang up and put away all clean laundry.
4) Dust all the dressers.
5) Take any dishes to the kitchen.
6) Sweep the floors.
7) Scrub bedroom toilet with Ajax.
8) Scrub bathtub with Ajax.
9) Scrub sink with Ajax.
10) Wipe all the wood surfaces with wood polish.
11) Empty bathroom trash.
12) Mop floors every other week
You can start feeling sorry for me now! Are you kidding me wife, are you kidding me. I think I’m moving back to my mommy’s.
I was expecting something like put your shoes away and pick up Nikki’s toys. What she gave me is like a whole Saturday worth of stuff, might even bleed into Sunday!
After giving me this enormous list she proceeded to turn off the lights, then using both our cell phones like glow sticks she did some kind of victory woman dance.
If anyone would like to assist me with my new job please feel free to stop by.
Is this fair? I need the people to weigh in on this one.
This is my eleventh post, no cheating you can’t be 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th and 11th.