Monday, March 3, 2008

random thoughts

So, we ran out of checks last week and the wife ordered some new ones. Our old checks had a logo of the Chicago White Sox baseball team they were grey and black.
The new checks arrived and I ask her to give me a couple, I always like to keep a couple of them in my wallet just in case I ever need one.
She hands me these pink things with a rainbow and some pretty little stars on them, some of them have a smiley sun or moon.
These can’t be my checks!?!?!
Why was the design changed without my approval?
I’m not the bill payer in the house, and most of our stuff is now done by online banking but still, pink with rainbows?!?!
I mean, these things have my name on them. I have a reputation to uphold here. I’ve got my own friken dictatorship, how are my subordinates going to have any kind of respect for a man with pink checks?
That’s a sure way to get assassinated. As the ruler of Vertanovia I must order me some new ones.

Today is a great day, the “ Pergola” has arrived at my local Walmart so I’m picking the thing up after work. Now I have to build the thing, I hate building things, reading something like” Insert screw F into washer A and place it in hole P” makes me want to kill myself. BEE I need to borrow Andy for a few hours. By the way I’m sooo, sooo, tried and sore right now. I made a mistake and understaffed for today so I had to step in a do some of the heavy lifting, man those guys really bust there ass for a mere $7.50 an hour. I can barley lift my right arm.
I was pulling 50 lbs rawhides all day, doesn’t sound that heavy but after a couple of hours trust me it is. It doesn’t help that they’re wet and also smell like dog ass. I actually feel sorry for those guys….nah, no I don’t. It’s not my fault they don’t speak English. I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I really do feel sorry for them.

The wife cooked some fish on Friday, the food was good but the house still smells like fucken fish! No more fish cooking in my house. As I was spelling fucken Word highlighted fucken like a misspelled word. Isn’t fuck a recognized word by now?
I heard a comedian once ( don’t know the name so I can’t give credit ) do an act about how fuck was the greatest word in the English language.
It can be used as a verb, a noun, an adverb, pronoun etc.
That single word can be used to express surprise, happiness, sadness, terror etc.
The bit was halarious; I do it no justice by writing it down.

Went to see a movie called Penelope last night, its about a girl that has a pig nose due to a curse. As you might imagine it was not my turn to pick. I’m thinking about becoming a movie reviewer, tons of other people do it so why not me. I can do a thumb up or down type of thing too.
I would keep it short and sweet.

19 comments:

Bee said...

I haven't finished reading it yet, I'm at the part where you asked me to borrow Andy to screw what???

Bee said...

You can do movie reviews here dodo bird! Also, Penelope??? Man card please.
It's funny that you sai dthat about English because my other blog has a discussion goin'.

Anonymous said...

Penelope? I would not let my DW drag me to the movies even if she promised me $%^^$@T@#T!!!

SC

Bee said...

:-O my virginal eyes.

Marie said...

Hey, seeing the movie made me happy and when I'm happy the Hubby is happy
$%^^$@T@#T!!!

I've already enlisted someone else to build my Pergola, so no wall punching today.

I must admit the house does still stink of "Fish". I think I'll bake a cake and combine the two smells "Fish Cake" yummy.

My checks are cute; they say stuff like Spread Sunshine, Seize the Day, Scatter Joy and Celebrate. Inspirational thoughts as I pay our bills.

The People's Blogger's Better Half

Bex said...

Wasn't it George Carlin? I think he did a bit about how the word fuck can be used in many different (yet meaningful) ways.

Pink checks AND Penelope AND a Pergola??? Ahem...

Dan said...

Bex, SC and Bee
Read the wifes comments.
I think I'll start reviewing next time I go to the movies.

SC
Does she go see the movies you want ?

Nancy27 said...

I think Danny needs to do something manly now, something that will earn him his man card back! But what could it be?? I know, I know… How about move furniture? You interested? :)

Dan said...

uuuhhh
what and from where to where ?
Did you skip the part about me being in pain ? I need a couple of days to heal.

Nancy27 said...

Of course I'll give you time to heal... :)

Marie said...

Next time we go to the movies it will be Dan's pick, although I have the right to reject any suggested movie due to violence, blood, and gore. Hey that means another chick flick, Yeah me! LOL

Brian o Vretanos said...

If you want to go to a film that combines romance with expressive language, you could do a lot worse than a Tarantino movie (say Jackie Brown - it even sounds like a chick flick).

I bet that QT's word processor has a keyboard shortcut for "Motherfucker" ;-)

Dan said...

Brian
I pissed off at you because you haven't answered BEE's tag, I have been wondering for days now if you were a crayon what color would you be. I must know !!!!!!!!!!!

BEE said...

BWAHAHAHA.
YEAH.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan:

I don't know how to begin to answer that question, or most of the others, which is why I'm saving them till I'm desperate for something to post.

What colour I'd be would depend on external factors such as lighting, but I suppose all other things being equal I'd have to plump for a crayon the colour of my blog background - i.e. a deep blue.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Please don't encourage him ;-)

Brian o Vretanos said...

I hope Jean Knee's okay. Or should we send out a search party? Maybe she's been carried off by the wind.

Bee said...

I emailed her earlier and she seems to be fine. Must be out putting her grill back up.

Jean Knee said...

Dan, I really don't know what to say here. Are you gonna eat quiche for dinner tonight while holding your pinkie in the air?

I wear man shoes