Friday, March 21, 2008

Nut kicker

So, I got a call yesterday from the company that I interviewed with about a month ago. At first I didn’t think I would switch jobs but now I can’t wait! They want me to come in first week in April for a second interview, the owner is going on vacation.
The hatred I feel for my bosses wife is more than I can stand. Just the mere sight of her makes my blood boil.
I’d like to thank all the people who volunteered to beat her up for me, you guys all had my back and I’d like you to know that if anything were to happen to any of you I’d be there for you too.
Bee, if you’re having problems with one of the Bats let me know and I’ll take care of them. I don’t care how old and batty they are I’ll kick them in the nuts!
Brian, you didn’t offer to beat her up for me but I’m thinking it was because you figured it wasn’t necessary since so many other people had already volunteered. Either way if there is someone calling you a geek or a trekkie (wait that was me ) I’ll kick them in the nuts!
Jean Knee, is Mr. Cockadodo getting out of line? Let me know and I’ll kick him in the nuts.
Tracy, got some stinky real estate agent you want me to kick in the nuts?
Marisol, don’t know much about you but I’ll be happy to kick someone in the nuts for you.
Stephanie, I hear you’re having problems with your boss, give me his address and I’ll hunt him down and kick him in the nuts!
The wife, you want me to kick someone in the nuts for you, other then me?
I’m in a nut kicking mood today so you better be nice.

I was thinking of what to tell my boss if I were to get an offer, what reason should I give or should I just tell him the truth?
Should I say something like:
“Listen, I like the job but I want to kick your wife in the nuts”
Or should I make up a story, I can tell him I’m moving to Mexico, or that I’m suddenly allergic to the chemicals used at the factory. I’ve never quit a job in my adult life so I’m not to sure how to handle the situation.
Should I give notice or quit as soon as I get an offer? What would be proper notice? 2 weeks? One month?

I think I’m going with something like:
“Sorry, but you of all people should understand just how annoying your wife is. I can’t take it anymore. I must put an end to the Chinese water torture, would you like me to kick her in the nuts for you?”
I feel bad for all the workers, once I’m gone they will continue to be abused. You know before I got there they weren’t allowed to have water by their work stations because according to her the more they drink the more they’ll have to pee. Most of the workers are people with limited options and job opportunities so they have to put up with her shit,

13 comments:

Marie said...

First!

Marie said...

It sucks that one person is spoiling an otherwise perfectly good job, but I'm sure most people will tell you there ususally is at least one jerk everywhere you work.

Good Luck with the interview.

The Wife

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan,

That's great news about the offer. Even if you weren't thinking of moving, it's always nice to have options. Congratulations!

You like your boss, and if you haven't any particular reason to delay giving notice, I'd give it as soon as you are sure that you want to move.

I'd be diplomatic about your reasons. Tell him you've had an offer and you are feeling restless. Tell him that he's been great and that the job has been too, but it's time to move on.

There's nothing to be gained by being too brutally honest about his wife - it wouldn't help any, and might upset him.

Also, you never know when you might need either a reference from him, some other kind of help, or even a job.

Don't upset people if you don't have to.

I thought I'd be first, but in the time it took me to type this, Marie got there. Oh well...

Dan said...

Brian
I don't have an offer yet. thanks for the advise but I think I'm going to tell him I want to kick his wife in the nuts.

Bee said...

Dan, you know me! I'm all for nut kicking!! But, Brian is right (don't tell him I said so) your boss is nice but I'm sure he still loves that crazy lady. Just tell him you tried to make it work but you can't have the respect of the employees if she keeps talking shit about you and to you. Make sure you tell him that. It's very important.

BTW...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! HOOHAAAHOOHA!

Bee said...

Also, no fair! I was at my in-laws!

Jean Knee said...

yep never burn yer bridges.
unless you have to kick someone in the nuts, even then nope.

by now he knows he's married to medusa

Jean Knee said...

I may have to give up my career as a canine correctional officer...

Dan said...

Jean Knee
Why?

Tracy said...

Jean Knee is a canine correctional officer? What all does that job entail?

Dan,
I have to agree with Brian and Bee here (but don't tell them I said that).
As good as it would make you feel to tell your boss that you want to kick his wife in the nuts (and we all know that she's the one with the nuts in that relationship) it might come to a time when you need something from them and you don't want that thrown back in your face.
I wish you all the luck in the world with your second interview!
And I'll get back to you on the nut kicking of the real estate agent. I may have to call you in.

Esmeralda said...

Dan,
I think I would mention the real reason for wanting to leave/leaving-in a very nice, tactful manner.
If you leave, there will be someone taking your place and I think it is necessary that you inform your boss about his wife making work a nightmare for every single person that works there. Maybe he needs to think about how much his his wife needs to be involved there, or find her something else to do, far, far, away from the company...

What about her mom? Is she still around?

Dan said...

esmeralda
her mom is still around but I can handle her. I think my boss probably doesn't do her anymore so she must have alot of botteled up frustration. I'm a Froydian now.
If I leave I'll tell him the truth in a nice way.

Jean Knee said...

my job as canine correctional officer entails me keeping my dog, Penny, in the fence.

she has a shock collar but no longer minds being shocked.the little sadist