Wednesday, May 21, 2008


So, one of my favorite shows is starting tomorrow on FOX. It’s “So you think you can dance” before any of you ( Bee ) starts making gay jokes let me tell you that the girls in the show are hawt and sexy so I have no shame to admit that I like this show.

First Mariah now Jessica Alba, what is going on? All I need is to find out that Shakira is getting married or knocked up too, as they say they always come in threes. Or do they say that about dead people? I guess it’s all the same. I need to make a new top 3 list.

Went to visit sister Nancy to get fed and to visit her and her family and to get fed, Bee was like an hour late! She was in charge of bringing the Coca Cola so I had to settle for Squirt. I later proceeded to strangle her and kick her in the …leg. Brother in law Andy said that cows are now living in the Matrix…..yea, ok dude.

Not much to report on the job front except for the fact that we caught a crap load of people cheating on their piece work, employees get paid by the piece so they’ve been reporting more pieces made then they actually did. Funny thing is that it’s probably been going on for years and no one thought to verify if their numbers were correct.
When I told one of the supervisors that I was going to start checking he said.
“Everyone is going to get pissed” yea so????

I have a terrible man cold, I’m tempted to call in sick tomorrow, I would if I had been there a little longer. My attendance at work has always been excellent, I can recall missing one day in the last 12 years. I’m looking forward to the three day weekend coming up.

I’m trying to get this guy fired because I want his office, he’s been there for like 30 years and is past retirement age. As far as I can tell he does nothing important, he sits on his ass all day shuffling papers on his desk.

I still have a Voodo curse on Bee, for those of you that don’t know about it I cursed her to give birth to a couple of kids before she hits forty. I have this little doll in my basement and I rolled up a napkin and stuffed it in her belly to make her look pregnant.

The wife still wants to move to Texas even after I told her there was a lady down there that keeps frozen corpses in her kitchen. I’ll be writing a post on why I think I would make a good cowboy.

I’m starting to wonder if my Canadian Finepecia (Propecia) is working at all, I’m still balding.

The title comes from one of my cousins in Mexico who according to him spoke English and would say that to my brother and I all the time. Watchiminifu, I think he was trying to say “What you mean you fool” he would even sing it “ And a Watchiminifu


Bee said...

Get the old dude fired! I wish I could do the same where I work but the must have all been born under a freakin' lucky ass star!!

I'll talk more about the curse later you ninny-mugs!

Bee said...

You should put Brad Pitt on your list.

Jean Knee said...

you would absolutely make an awesome cowboy. don't do the chewing tobacco thing, though.

Marie said...

Why do you need a new top 3 list when you're already married to a ten "10". At least you used to think I was a "10" back in the three years when you where chasing me.

The Wife

Brian o Vretanos said...


The balding cure failing is an omen - you either need a cowboy hat or a sombrero.

Tracy said...

I can't believe that the supervisor was worried about pissing the cheaters off. What kind of place is this? It's like the insane have been running the asylum..that is until Dan got there.

Don't worry Dan, I'm sure Mariah will be divorced soon. Then you can put her back on your list.

I'm anxious to know why you think you would make a good cowboy. Please write that post soon!

I almost lived in Texas once. I was engage to a guy in the army and when we got married I was going to have to move to Fort Worth on the army base with him. That didn't work out.

Did I cover all of your topics? I can't remember, there were so many.

Andy said...

If you think about what humans were being used as in the Matrix movies & think about how cows are "grown", its not quite as far out there as you first might think.

Oh & I broke into your house last week & stuffed your voodoo doll full of monopoly money....... So either Bee will crap out lotsa money or a few board games

Bee said...

baby you so romantic!

Dan said...

I do my best!
Why would I put Pitt on my list?

Jean Knee
I hate tobacco.

The Wife
I still think you're a 10.

Yep, I agree, I should just move now.

Well said. They have no testicular fortitude. I'll be shocked if they last more then a year.

Are the cows hokked up to a fantasy world too?
I still have the doll you liar.

Nancy27 said...

LMAO!!!! Andy is funny!!! I think it will be the board games that come out. You should have put a real bill in there.

We usually don't keep Pop in the house (Big Tex would drink it all up in a day if we did). I'll have to keep a spare around hidden for when you guys come over OR you can always assume I have no pop and pick one up :)

Big Tex's Momma will be happy to have you guys in Texas! In fact her theory is that if one goes then we will all start moving over there. The big draw is that we will be closer to Mexico.

As far you you being a cowboy I don't know about that. Could you ever really give up your shorts and flip flops???

Finally, who cares if the will be pissed. Like seriously! ad you should have his @ss fired...