Friday, May 9, 2008

I see old people

So, I’ve run into my first bump on the road in my new job. The shipping department is highly inefficient; we should be able to ship way more then we do. Overtime is being worked in order to catch up with our promised delivery dates.
Here is the problem:
The average age of this department is about 98. Ok, I’m exaggerating, the average age of this department is 97. Ok, I’m exaggerating again, sorry.
The average age of this department is 96, ok that’s not funny anymore.

Seriously now, the average age of this department is 95. I’m seriously amusing myself.
Ok really now, the average age is 94 GOTCHA AGAIN. I can’t believe you keep on falling for it!!!!

Ok, it’s seriously not funny at all anymore, not that it was to begin with. The average age is about 60 (I bet you a million dollars that you thought I was going to say 94)

The Foreman is about 65, one of the packers has been there for 45 years and is at least 66.
The guy in charge of all the UPS shipments is also around 62. The other two guys working there are in there mid forties and are young enough and capable of doing more but they seem to be working at the same pace as the old guys. (BOV don’t do the math, I know the average is not 60)

I kind of think my boss is just waiting for them to retire, I’m not that patient. I was hired to improve the overall productivity in the plat and my first assignment is the shipping department. How am I supposed to accomplish this with all these old guys?
If I suggest they should be forced to retire I’ll come out looking like an ahole.
To make things more complicated all three of these guys happen to be black, so not only will I come off looking like an ahole but also like a racist, so I’ll be a racist ahole. I can see that on my business cards, Dan Cordova, racist ahole.
I need some help here people, how should I approach this one?
Did any of you see the Danica Patrick accident? Funny stuff, everyone knows women can’t drive. Just kidding.
By the way, I’m posting comments and posts later then usual because I’m still trying to impress my new company, I’m not comfortable enough to blog at work yet.


Bee said...

Stinky Dan, what don't you 'reassign' them?
That way you don't let them go but you still get some new blood into the SD.
Put someone in there that's at most 92.

Bee said...

Going to the campground tomorrow. If anything happens to me and Andy take care of my stuff and... Tazz.

Do not throw him out!

Brian o Vretanos said...

I've no real advice, since I'm not a manager. Perhaps set them an efficiency goal - x more orders shipped per day or whatever is appropriate. Keep increasing the target until the department is running at the speed you think it should be.

If somewhere along the line some of them fail to deliver then you have evidence that they're not up to it, and proof that you gave them a chance to improve, so at least your boss can see you're being fair.

Tracy said...

I was going to suggest putting speed in the coffee but then I read Brians comment and his seems much more reasonable.

I still like the speed idea though. Maybe I'll put some in my coffee. wheeeeeee

Brian o Vretanos said...


That's a brilliant idea - I wish I'd thought of it. I'll never make it as a management consultant...

Dan said...

If I reassign them sooner or later I'll have to work on getting their new department up to speed too.

I plan on telling them what is expected and letting them know that if they can't do it I'll have to move them to another department but if they can't do that then I'll have to let them go.

Where can I get speed? What exactly is it?

Jean Knee said...

I was thinking you could give them a quota to speed them up. most workers do as little as they can get away with