Monday, February 18, 2008

I need a remedy

Home remedies kill me.
Last week one of the ladies working here cuts her hand, no big deal small tiny little cut, a ban-aid will take care of it.
The next day I notice her in the middle of a circle of people, one lady comes up to me and says "Why didn't you send her to the clinic?! Don't you see how swallen her hand is !!!"
I walk over to her and in fact her hand is about the size of a boxers glove.
What happened ?

It just got like this overnight

I see that, but what did you do ?

Well, I heard once that if you cut yourself you should take a screw, boil it in water and then clean the wound with the water. Once the water was boiling I put my hand in it.

I sent her to the clinic.
I should mention this ladie is about 65.
I had no idea a screw had all these magical medical uses. Next time my head hurts I'm grabbing my drill screwing one to my temple.

My Grandma once grabbed a fly by the wings and rubbed the flies butt on an irritated part of her face, just below the eye. Did it help ? Noooooo, it got much worse. I'd like to meet the asshole that told my poor Grandma to rub a flies butt on herself. I wonder if they were just messing with her.

Dude at work told me to put cow shit on my head to avoid going bald.
What ??!!

Yeah, thats what I did.

Yeah but,'re bald.

I know I am, but If I hadn't done my cow shit treatments I would have gone bald in my twenties.

I rather have fly ass on my head then cow shit that's for sure.
I also saw a bunch of guys on the tellie lined up to let a donkey lick their heads.

Gradma again, sorry " Polita " but you're full of them.
My Grandfather once poured boiling water on my head ( wait I just realized he might be the one to blame for my baldness, I will address this issue with him next time I go to Mexico !!!! ) Gradma rubs a bunch of beans all over my head. When I got to the hodpital the Dr. asked for a tortilla to make a bean taco.

Do you have any good ones ?
Wait I almost forgot, I have a sister ( who I will not name BEEcuase I don't want to get in trouble) who used to put egg whites on her head before going to bed.
Unable to do spell check again !!!!


Bee said...

What are you talking about troublemaker?? What egg whites?

Bee said...

By the way, she might have made herself a nice tetanus tea.

Bee said...


Anonymous said...

Not all home remedies are that crazy, some are helpful. My Mom told me to use coffe grinds to treat pink eye, it did help.

Anonymous said...


Jean Knee said...


we have donkeys--what did having them lick your head supposedly do? I might try it out

my dog licks my ear, will that cure anything??

If that lady had left out the screw, all would be welll

Jean Knee said...

Is Marie your wife?

Brian o Vretanos said...

Did the egg whites make her hair go red, by any chance?

Personally I'll stick to medical science. Controlled amounts of carefully tested substances. I don't know why people think that "natural" remedies are better.

Example: Aspirin. It occurs naturally in some kind of tree bark and some tribe used to chew on it when they had toothache. But the bark also contains a poison that if you're lucky will only make you puke your guts up. Give me the man-made version any day.

Dan said...

Coffee on pink eye ? I dont think so.

donkey licking your head is for baldness.
dog licking your ear, it's just dirty and full of wax.
Yes, till death..I meen eternity.

no it didn't, I'll stick with the man made stuff too.

Bee said...

Dan, I'm not denying the egg thing but I just don't remeber it so it must not be true!

Anonymous said...

Hey Bee,

Did you forget how to use spell check too.

Bee said...

I'm a bad speller. Must run in the family.

Tracy said...

Here's one..As a teen, 16 or 17, I read in a cosmo (which is the devil for a 16 year old who wants to know the "8 Ways To Get That Guy To Notice You") that if you covered your hair in mayonaise and let it sit on there for twenty minutes it worked better than a hot oil treatment and made your hair silky and soft.
Of course I did it before I had a date and I smelled like a salad. We were sitting at the movies and I kept hearing him sniffing my hair but trying to be sneaky about it. We never went out again. Wonder why?
On the up side, I guess I should be happy that Cosmo didn't tell me to slather my hair with cowshit, right?

Dan said...

Cosmo said silky and soft but made no mention on smell.
Was it silky and soft ?

Anonymous said...

Little Dan with his own little blog... strange... very strange...


Bad spelling does not run in the family...

The Sequoia amongst Christmas Pine trees in a world full of tree huggers...SC

Tracy said...

It actually did make it very silky and soft. The problem was that nobody wanted to get close enough to me to touch it.