Healthy Ice Cream

So, Nikki the dog is really starting to piss me off. Every time I sit down to eat she sits there looking at me with her pathetic “give me some of your food” look. Eat your own food Nikki, your bowl is full. Let me enjoy my food, don’t just sit there looking like an Ethiopian staring at me, praying that I drop a piece of my steak. I know your food sucks and you’re probably sick of eating the same thing every day but that’s not my problem. It’s not my fault you’re a dog.

Now that I think about it…..I take it back, I do feel sorry for you Nikki the dog. I can’t imagine having to eat the same food everyday. Back when I was a kid my grandfather always had dogs, he never bought them dog food, his dogs always ate and still eat leftover scraps from everyone’s plates. Might not be so healthy but if someone came to me and said “you have two choice eat the same thing everyday and live to be 90…..or eat whatever you want and live to be 88”. I would choose to eat whatever I wanted, hands down!

However we must take the whole dog year equals seven human years thing into account. So if someone told me that if I ate the same thing everyday I would live to be 90…..or eat whatever I wanted and live to be 76 I would probably feel different.

Huuummmmm………nah, I would still feel the same, I would rather eat what I wanted and give up 14 years of my life. Anything can kill you so why sacrifice eating healthy? I could have the healthiest diet in the world and go out one day and die in a car crash so why bother?

I’m gonna go get some Ice Cream, and give some to Nikki the dog too.

Why can’t vegetables taste like Ice Cream?

That’s what the government should be spending money on, instead of space exploration and other stupid studies they should have scientists working on how to alter the taste of food while still preserving all the healthy stuff.

I wonder how many years I would live if I ate dog food that tasted like chicken and beef and flautas everyday.

My New Post

So, what’s up People? Remember me? It’s Dan, The Peoples rarely Blogger. I just saw a comment that Tracy left for me, it says NEW POST NOW!!!! Esmeralda also commented that she needed a new post so this NEW post is for them.

It’s been 3 weeks since my last post. I can’t even remember the last thing I wrote about, I’m going to check real quick…………………….Oh yeah, I wrote about how much I hate strangers and how I helped a couple of people out during a snow storm but no one would help me.

I wrote “that strangers don’t give a shit about helping strangers unless I’m the stranger helping another stranger”….that was pretty funny of me, I crack myself up.

I also wrote about peeing in the ally, that was fun.

According to my last post having my car stuck in the snow really sucked, I was there for about an hour I shoveled around it, pushed, kicked the tires but nothing was working!

I’m now having flashbacks of me all wet and cold trying to get Maxine out, I hope I don’t get sick just thinking about it.

It’s snowed a couple of times since then and I think my tenants still hold me responsible for the snow, it’s not my fault they live in Chicago, I didn’t invent snow. It’s not my fault that the earth goes round and around and that our city happens to be kind of far away from the sun this time of year.

I just noticed that I left out “it” on my last post. I wrote “Why is that my tenants” I should have written “Why is IT that my tenants” I really need to better job proof reading.

I hope you all liked my new post.

I hate strangers

So, I was driving to The School House (the house that I rent) yesterday to shovel the Got Dammed snow, Why is that my tenants expect me to shovel their snow? It’s not my fault they live in Chicago, did I invent snow? Is it my fault that the earth goes round and round and that our city happens to be kind of far from the sun during this time of year?
Anyway, on my way there I saw a lady suck in the snow, I got out of my car and shoveled and pushed her out. A few miles later there was a guy pushing his car to the side of the road because it wasn’t running. I got out of my car and helped him. I’m always helping strangers. I give bums money all the time. A dollar here a dollar there, I had one guy tell me it wasn’t enough and I gave him more!!!!!!!
I’m a pretty nice guy when it comes to helping strangers in need, a good Samaritan.
Why is it that strangers don’t ever seem to give a shit about me when I need help!
After I got to The School House, I shoveled all the snow (I had to pee, since I have no access to the house because it’s all rented out I peed in the alley. That was fun, I hadn’t done that in years) and was ready to go home. Turns out that now my car was stuck!
I shoveled around it, pushed, kicked the tires, nothing was working. Did anyone stop to help ME! NO! strangers don’t give a SHIT about helping others. Unless I’m the stranger helping the other stranger. I hate people all of them, I will never help anyone else ever again. I was stuck for almost an hour, soaking wet! I’m just getting over a man cold, I fear that I might be sick again!
Fuck you strangers! You can all do things without my help!
Push your own cars out of the snow!
Find someone else to give you money for gas or bus fair!

Merry Christmas!
Thank you Stephanie and her Brother for helping me get out….. they are not strangers.

Snow Sucks !!!!!

So, just like everyone else I hate snow !

I hate everything about it, how it looks, how it smells how it tastes, I hate driving in it, I hate seeing it come down, I hate it with green eggs and ham, I hate shoveling it EVERYTHING !!!!!

This is a picture of my castle, we put up a lot more lights this year then we normally would. See, in my suburb they always give a prize to the prettiest house. Last years winner was a shitty little house with barley any lights so last year The Wife and I bought a bunch of stuff after new years at a huge discount. If we don’t win I’m going to get really pissed off, the prize better be good because I was up there freezing my ass off a couple of weeks ago. I wish I had put lights on the peak of the house, I did the peak of the garage but I was too much of a chicken to do the peak at the front of the house…..I mean my ladder wasn’t high enough, I need a bigger ladder so that I can get up there.

The second picture is of the Ginger Bread house my boss gave me for Christmas, wasn't that nice of him ?

Senator Dan

So, I was saving up all my money, I was going to sell my house and cars in order to make a bid for Barack Obamas open senate seat. Too bad the governor of Illinois got arrested today by the FBI for putting it on sale. Oh well, guess I’ll have to keep my day job.

As you might remember for my Maxine’s Cherry post I’m not a big fan of Patrick, but some ass hole at The Wife’s job hit him pretty hard. This guy didn’t even bother to come back inside to tell her about it, everyone knew it was him. I'd rather someone spit in my face then mess with my car!!








Like Bee I got my Green tree yesterday, how green can a tree really be if they cut it down? Seems to me like an oxymoron. The tag said something about being a super Green Tree…….yeah Ass holes till you cut it down!
Is that not the biggest issue among the tree hugging community, the cutting of trees?
I’ve always gone for the real stuff, I hate fake trees they look like fake trees.

need more hair for my buck.

So, I had to order some more Finepecia (generic Canadian version of Propecia) from Canada and I couldn’t believe how much these ass monkeys are charging me for it now.

I used to get a 3 month supply for 30 bucks and now they want 65 bucks. That’s more than twice the old price. I’d be more then happy to pay the price if I had noticed a difference since I started using it, but I really haven’t.

It’s been more then six months now and I look exactly the same, I have before and after pictures, the before looks like the after and the after like the before so it all the same.

I’ve thought about not using it anymore, I guess if I look the same maybe it is working after all, maybe I would be totally bald by now. I guess it’s still a good price compared to Propecia which costs 65 dlls for a 1 month supply.

I just wish I had an Afro by now.

I saw on Fox the other day that 24 is coming back to T.V. I’ve been a fan of the show since it came out but theirs a different President now?????

Come on, Jack has gone thru like five Presidents since the show started.

Their was the first guy, then the Black president (the guy from the Allstate commercials) who was a senator in the first season, then the other guy that had the crazy wife, then the Allstate commercials Presidents brother Wayne and now a woman President. That’s five in like 5 years, they should at least make Jack look a little older.

I can’t even think of 5 different Presidents.

Bush, Clinton, Bush, and Reagan. Off the top of my head I could not tell you who was President before Reagan. In a few days I’ll have five but Obama isn’t in charge yet.

Can't hardly wait

So, my bosses vacation is finally over tomorrow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been so overwhelmed for the last two week, I haven’t been there long enough to be able to handle doing his job and mine. I’ve been working 11 ½ hours a day for the last two weeks so that I can keep up.

I can’t wait to see him (I mean this in a non homo sexual way) (not that there’s anything wrong with that) I almost want to hug him as soon as I see him (in a non gay way) and look him in those baby blue eyes and tell him how much I’ve missed him (in a non man to man love way) tell him how lonely I’ve been making all those decisions without having him by my side, watching my back (in a non ass wanting way) (not that there’s anything wrong with that) I’ll be able to sleep in an extra hour and be home for dinner early again!

Life is good.