Monday, January 19, 2009

Healthy Ice Cream


So, Nikki the dog is really starting to piss me off. Every time I sit down to eat she sits there looking at me with her pathetic “give me some of your food” look. Eat your own food Nikki, your bowl is full. Let me enjoy my food, don’t just sit there looking like an Ethiopian staring at me, praying that I drop a piece of my steak. I know your food sucks and you’re probably sick of eating the same thing every day but that’s not my problem. It’s not my fault you’re a dog.

Now that I think about it…..I take it back, I do feel sorry for you Nikki the dog. I can’t imagine having to eat the same food everyday. Back when I was a kid my grandfather always had dogs, he never bought them dog food, his dogs always ate and still eat leftover scraps from everyone’s plates. Might not be so healthy but if someone came to me and said “you have two choice eat the same thing everyday and live to be 90…..or eat whatever you want and live to be 88”. I would choose to eat whatever I wanted, hands down!

However we must take the whole dog year equals seven human years thing into account. So if someone told me that if I ate the same thing everyday I would live to be 90…..or eat whatever I wanted and live to be 76 I would probably feel different.

Huuummmmm………nah, I would still feel the same, I would rather eat what I wanted and give up 14 years of my life. Anything can kill you so why sacrifice eating healthy? I could have the healthiest diet in the world and go out one day and die in a car crash so why bother?

I’m gonna go get some Ice Cream, and give some to Nikki the dog too.

Why can’t vegetables taste like Ice Cream?

That’s what the government should be spending money on, instead of space exploration and other stupid studies they should have scientists working on how to alter the taste of food while still preserving all the healthy stuff.

I wonder how many years I would live if I ate dog food that tasted like chicken and beef and flautas everyday.






11 comments:

Brian o vretanos said...

They make pet food out of horse meat, so your dog is helping keep you in work.

Providing you don't feed it vegetarian stuff.

Brian o vretanos said...

Or Ice cream.

Oh, and FIRST!

Marie said...

Dog food looks a lot better then the stuff they had before, although I think that's more for the pet owner then the pet himself.

Nikki is a happy, lazy dog so things aren't so bad.

The Wife

Jormengrund said...

Just think..

By the time they think through how to make vegetables taste like Ice Cream, they'll find something in the vegetables that causes cancer..

Then, it'll be determined that even though veggies can taste like ice cream, you shouldn't eat them because you'll die!

Even though 5 years ago every nutritionist in the world was preaching about needing 5 or more servings of those cancer-causing veggies each day!

True story.

Just wait and see..

Rhonda said...

Just give that cute dog some of your food. Geesh.

Tracys Ramblings said...

Oh My!! That has to be the cutest dog ever!
Give her some of your food Dan!
You know you want to!

Tracys Ramblings said...

Dan!
I just watched Dirty Jobs last night and they showed where some parts of dog food comes from.
GIVE THE DOG ICE CREAM!
Seriously!
It was gross!

Tracys Ramblings said...

I also now know where you get your hides for leather. That's kind of gross too but not as bad as the dog food.

Bee said...

Nikki looks so cute! Why won't you even share with your dog?

Jean Knee said...

if that were my dog I'd hold a piece of meat above his head, make him beg and then eat it myself.

KnittingBlueContent said...

Living in a house with a Husband that would eat ANYTHING with salt and rooster sauce? Dog food included?

Fucking hilarious post!

rooster sauce =
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sriracha

and I ain't even kidd'n ya.