So, I was driving to The School House (the house that I rent) yesterday to shovel the Got Dammed snow, Why is that my tenants expect me to shovel their snow? It’s not my fault they live in Chicago, did I invent snow? Is it my fault that the earth goes round and round and that our city happens to be kind of far from the sun during this time of year?
Anyway, on my way there I saw a lady suck in the snow, I got out of my car and shoveled and pushed her out. A few miles later there was a guy pushing his car to the side of the road because it wasn’t running. I got out of my car and helped him. I’m always helping strangers. I give bums money all the time. A dollar here a dollar there, I had one guy tell me it wasn’t enough and I gave him more!!!!!!!
I’m a pretty nice guy when it comes to helping strangers in need, a good Samaritan.
Why is it that strangers don’t ever seem to give a shit about me when I need help!
After I got to The School House, I shoveled all the snow (I had to pee, since I have no access to the house because it’s all rented out I peed in the alley. That was fun, I hadn’t done that in years) and was ready to go home. Turns out that now my car was stuck!
I shoveled around it, pushed, kicked the tires, nothing was working. Did anyone stop to help ME! NO! strangers don’t give a SHIT about helping others. Unless I’m the stranger helping the other stranger. I hate people all of them, I will never help anyone else ever again. I was stuck for almost an hour, soaking wet! I’m just getting over a man cold, I fear that I might be sick again!
Fuck you strangers! You can all do things without my help!
Push your own cars out of the snow!
Find someone else to give you money for gas or bus fair!
Merry Christmas!
Thank you Stephanie and her Brother for helping me get out….. they are not strangers.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
15 comments:
Merry Christmas, Dan!
What a Good Samaritan you are...
Merry Christmas brother Dan!
That's why I never help anybody. Well I do but people have always helped me back. Maybe it's because I'm scary looking.
You know, they might have been thinking the same about you..
You were (are) a total stranger to them, so why should they bother helping you out when they're possibly not going to get any help from you in return?
Myself, I help where needed, but I'm kind of strange that way..
Might have to do with my being raised by folks other than my parents........
OH, and I'd help Bee, only because if I didn't she'd kick my butt!
(That lady scares me!)
I'd so help you Dan except I'm weak
and can't really shovel anything
Merry Christmas!!!!
Sorry, but you just can't help yourself, you're just a nice guy!
The Wife
I have always had this feeling towards strangers. I hate people. Except for you all but to be honest, if I had to deal with all of you everyday, I'd probably hate you all too. People suck, Dan.
When the girls were 3 and 2, I was driving home from grocery shopping. It was a 45 minuted drive home and 35 minutes from my house, I had a tire blow out. Since I didn't want to walk along the highway with two babies, I drove the car to a gas station at the next exit.
For an hour I waited for a tow truck. While waiting and just hearing my ice cream melt and my yogurt curdle, I can't tell you how many times some big, buff, tire change-able guy would walk by and say "Well, it looks like you have a flat tire."
NO SHIT!!!
I felt like saying "No, no it's not flat, the other ones blew up on me!"
Since then, I have hated all people.
Except you guys of course.
Oh, and then there was the time we were driving behind these two people on motorcycles. Well, the woman wrecked right in front of me, seriously I almost ran over her!, and being a nurse, I got out to help.
The lady was a mess, and both of them were wasted. The man kept yelling "Get up! We gotta get out of here."
It was obvious that she had a head injury and I said "Sir, she can't go anywhere until an ambulance gets here."
Wanna know what he did?
He backhanded me!!!
Unlucky for him, my daddy taught me how to hit back.
And that is why I hate people.
Except you all of course...
I would have helped you. Maybe.
SOOOOO, the BEARS LOST LOST LOST. And you owe me! HA! Where's my loot???? If it makes you feel any better, I was the only Texans fan watching the game in the sports bar in Cabo ... I almost didn't make it out of there alive.
Oh, and Happy Holidays.
Happy New Year, Dan!
Happy New Year Dan!!
great post, I seem to run into the same problem myself.
We need a new post!!!
1. Where are you?
2. Where is my PRIZE? I like Garrett's popcorn. Or you can send me some meatballs from Rosebud. But you need to freeze them ... or put them in dry ice or something.
Dan:
NEW POST NEW POST NEW POST NEW POST NEW POST
NOW!
Post a Comment