So, you know all those recovering alcoholics that always tell you how many days they’ve been sober? Hello, my name is Boozer and I’m an alcoholic, I’ve been sober for 489 days.
Well I’ve been sober for 9 days now and it really sucks!
Lent is here again and this year I’ve given up all alcoholic beverages, I didn’t realize how much I like my booze until now. I don’t drink much, I hardly ever get drunk but I do like to get “buzzed” I’d say twice a week. I normally have a few on little Friday, little Friday is a tradition started by my SIL and her husband (by the way I wonder if they’re still alive, I haven’t heard from them in a while) little Friday is actually Thursday night, just an excuse to drink during the week. Then I have a few during the weekend, sometimes on Big Friday (big Friday is actually Friday night) or on Saturday, I don’t really drink on Sunday’s….actually I drink a little when the Bears lose to drown my sorrow….and I drink a little when they win to celebrate during football season……..and baseball for the Sox and basketball for the Bulls.
Sometimes I drink on Wednesday, Wednesday is the middle of the week, hump day. I drink a little to help me get by for the rest of the week. On certain occasions I drink on Monday, Monday is the start of the week and after being off for two days I get home kind of tired so I have a beer or six to relax. I also might have a glass or two of wine on Tuesday because it’s little hump day. I really don’t drink on any other days then what I’ve just mentioned, but I do miss the numbness of a good buzz. I’m thinking about picking up pot during lent, It’s been a really long time since I’ve had me some
Mary jew ana, last time I took a hit must have been 15 years ago.
Last year I gave up pizza, coke, ice cream, fries and didn’t lose a single pound. I replaced all the fatty stuff with other fatty stuff, I think I wrote a post about it called “Gut Boy”.
If you guys have any suggestions on how to get numb without breaking the law I’d love to hear them. I heard licking frogs will get you high but that’s gross, I wouldn’t even know where to find any frogs anyway. I saw a South Park episode where the kids where getting high letting a cat pee on them, again that’s gross, no pussy (cat) near my face.
Maybe I should join AA for 30 days, I could get one of those sponsor people. I wonder if they would actually show up if I called them while having a burger at my local Appelbees?
Sponsor dude, I just can’t resist it anymore I must have a Corona.
Send in your home remedies please, Lent is still young!