Saturday, June 21, 2008

Nikki and my hairless arm

So, someone knocks on my door Thursday night, it was kind of late around 10:30pm. It was this lady who I’ve never seen before that lives a couple of houses from me and says:
Hi, just wanted to let you know that your dog was running around outside. I picked her up and called the cops. They were going to take her to the animal shelter but then your neighbor said it was yours. I was knocking on the door and no one came out so I went around to the back, your gate was open so I let her back in and closed the door.
Are you sure it was her?
Yes, I’m positive. I sat on your front stairs for a little while waiting to see if anyone was home.

This happened the same day that my in-laws had to send their puppy to doggy heaven, her name was “Bella” she was a 1 ½ year old terrier. The Vet thinks she didn’t have all her shots.
My dog’s name is “Nikki” she’s a pug/terrier mix. I can’t imagine how upset The Wife would have been if she had run away or got run over by a car.
_ _ _

The Wife and I were outside cooking, we do this very often and I'm usually the one that man’s the grill, she was taking care of it today. While she was inside getting other stuff I got up and opened the top of the grill to turn the meat around, I noticed the meat wasn’t cooking. All the flames were off, so what did my dumbass do?
I pushed the button that creates the spark that lights the grill, only problem is that the gas had been on for like 7 minutes and since the lid was down all the gas was trapped and when I pushed the button……”BOOOOMMMM!!!!”
I felt this strong gush of hot air go up my left arm and to my face. It didn’t really hurt but all the hair on my left arm was completely burned off. I’m a pretty hairy guy so now my left arm is all smooth, I was thinking about shaving my right arm to even things out.
I had a disturbing thought, what if the The Wife did it on purpose? I do have life insurance. Although my earning potential for the next thirty years is way more that the policy. I’m glad I was wearing my sunglasses.


Dan said...

First !!!!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Wives rarely kill their husbands - they can't torment them if they're dead ;-)

Bee said...

Awwwww she looks so cute!

What's the matter with you????

Take care of your doggie.

Tracy said...

I disagree with Brian. If you watch Lifetime there's a show on there called Snapped and it's all about women killing their husbands. They're just sneakier at it then men. Hence the grill. Dan goes out and thinks "Silly woman trying to do a mans job at the grill. She forgot to even light it. I will make fun of her for this later. But for now, I will light it for her" WHOOSH. Dan is dead.
Or in this case, Dans hair on his arm is dead. RIP Hair.

Your dog is cute but I totally imagined you with a much more manly dog.

Marie said...

Hey you can't be first it's your blog.

Death by Grill, not bad but I would be a little more creative than that.

What am I talking about, I Love The husband, he's a keeper. XXOO

The Wife

The rest of the weekend The Husband smelled like burnt chicken. LOL

Brian o Vretanos said...

The grill as a murder weapon isn't very good, which is probably why it's not caught on. After all, it clearly doesn't work.

Marie said...

The grill as a murder weapon could work if you also put a hole in the gas tank and pour a puddle of gas right in front of the grill that way he'll light up along with the steaks.

Not that I've given it much thought or anything.

Jean Knee said...

uhm. you prolly shouldn't do any more grilling for awhile

Dan said...

What are you talking about? they kill their husbands all the time.

Who's dog hasn't wandard outside of the house before?

I like that show, it's pretty funny. I'm so glad I didn't have my head that close cause who knows, I might be dead or the hair on my head might be dead and we all know I'm loosing it as it is.
I don't have the time for a bigger dog, my dream dog has always been a German Shepard like yours. Big dogs are a lot of work.
They poop a lot too, my little dog shits all the time and I have to pick up her hot poop.
When we went dog shopping The Wife picked the smallest skinniest dog she could find.

The Wife
Death by grill IS VERY creative, i give you props for that... or I should say that if you were trying to BBQ me I'd give you props.
The burnt hair smell is hard to get rid of.

I think it's a very good way to kill someone and get away with it.

We grill all the time, I stand out there flipping meat in the middle of snow storms.

Bee said...

Oh yeah. I forgot about Tazz and the morons who were watching Harley.