Thursday, April 16, 2009

Bed War

So, The Wife is trying to take over my side of the bed. We had to switch sides the other night because she wasn’t feeling well and my side is closer to the bathroom (I have a feeling that one is going to get me in trouble) the next night when I came to bed my pillow and Pure Sleep mouth piece was on her side of the bed.

“I thought you weren’t sick anymore
I’m not
So why are you on my side of the bed?
I like this side better so I’m staking my claim.
You can’t stake your claim on something that’s already been claimed!
Yes, I can. I don’t see a flag anywhere.

I told her that since my side is closer to the door I’d be in a better position to protect her in case someone broke into our house.
That didn’t work so I then had to physically mover her to her side, it wasn’t that easy. The Wife is pretty strong for a chick.

I don’t understand how she can just switch sides, she has no loyalty to her side.
It’s not that easy for me to make a move like that, my side has molded to my body, when I slept on her side I felt like at the top of a hill about to roll down.
Why can’t we just leave things as they are, she moves the furniture and wall decorations around the house all the time, it drives me crazy!
I hate it when she rearranges the house, it takes me a few months to get used to the new look. I go to get a fork only to realize that the fork and spoon drawer is no longer the fork and spoon drawer and is now the small towel things that you put on the table to protect the wood from the hot plate drawer, what the hell do you call those plate coasters things anyway? And what’s wrong with the table getting a little hot? It’s not going to explode Wife!

I’m happy to report that I have defended my territory successfully.


Dan said...

Drive by firsting !

mariecordova said...

Change is GOOD!

Next time you stay out late (tonight) you'll find me a sleep on your side and you won't have the heart to move your beautiful sleeping wife. Then I win!

The Wife

Brian o vretanos said...

Maybe you should booby-trap your side. Or get a flag.

Jean Knee said...

a real man would give his wife the side she wants

Diesel said...

As long as my wife stays on her side of the bed while I'm trying to sleep, I don't care which side I get.

Rhonda said...


Dan (my Dan) recently stole my side of the bed, so apparently not everyone is committed to their sleeping situation. Maybe if you pee'd on that side, she'd give it back.